My name is Dreen and I recently discovered something amazing.
I’ve done a lot of things. Sometimes, those things are incredibly stupid. Often, those things are lesson-worthy, but I’m not the kind of person who learns anything the easy way – that’s silly. I’ve gotta try it five – maybe six times – just to make sure I have evidence they’re really bad.
Besides, I don’t have time or understanding for introspection – that’s a wise man’s game – I only have time for immediate gratification – i.e. maybe the stupid thing isn’t as stupid if I do it this way – or this quickly. (Spoiler: it’s still just as stupid)
Now I know, some of my greatest lessons are learned directly after my stupidest mistakes.
I got to know my neighbors because I accidentally “Plowed” them during a winter storm (literally knocked them off their feet with my new knowledge of how to use a snow blower).
I learned how to fix cars because I can only afford to buy the cheapest cars. I’ve sat, devastated, in the front seat of a car hoping the engine doesn’t start on fire (spoiler: it did). I had a car I named Dave – I treated like family – it had no heat – no radio – the muffler fell completely off when I parked once and I could wake a neighborhood with Dave. I got trapped in negative 30 degrees weather with only the heat of hope. I knocked on a complete stranger’s door on the east side st Paul, to ask if my daughter and I could stand there so we don’t die until help arrives.
I learned how to be a better person because I saw the members of my family hurting me and others and decided to be different. I learned how to be a Mom because I did it alone. I learned to be patient because my daughter taught me. I built confidence because people called me ugly. I learned how to be strong because tough things constantly made me fight.
I learned how to lose weight because I got too heavy – I lost 200 lbs. I learned how to be sober because I saw people high. I learned how to appear happy because the world is often too sad. I learned to do it myself because I couldn’t ask for help.
I learned what I am made of because I fell so many times in this process – I’ve felt the pain, loss, scars and credit scores that come with falling
I learned how to write because I have a lot to say and I never could quite get the words right when I say them. I could never seem to gather the confidence, fearlessness or timing just right. So, I wrote. I found solace in writing. I found freedom in writing
I learned I should take a real hard look at my life as a whole and see why I insist on learning the way I do.
It was upsetting.
I searched for a purpose that was in alignment with jobs that make money. I help people find their paths to make money and I have seen people make thousands off my classes.
I read the inspiration. I did an affirmation. I believed but I could succeed because I believed wrong. I was really *really* hoping for that easy, paved path to be waiting for me to take it. I opened my mind to ALL possibilities so much that my brain finally fell out. That is when I got to see myself.
The problem was; the greatness we seek looks a lot like hard work. It looks terrifying!
It looks like we have to reach inside ourselves – beyond our comfort zone – through the fear – and the voices of people who held us down because of their fears – and grab the strength I use elsewhere.
I grabbed the strength to get through the days I don’t like because I keep living the way I was taught – and I am learning how to use it to create the life I want
Then came doubt. I spent more time and effort following the path doubt brought me than I would have had I just accepted and admitted my dreams! The “I’m not good enough” and the “I’m too weird, or distracted” stood with the “I deserve this” as a constant in my head.. So, I kept looking, applying, working day-and-night with no real pay. Crying, fighting and kicking down all doors but the one I hid behind.
What I saw was an entire lifetime of stories and sentiments expressed in writing. I saw myself being comfortable in the life I was assigned – with the lessons that hurt me. Finally, I saw that I was not required to live that life anymore. I am not a tree – I can move – I can learn – I can become the person I’m meant to be!
I learned to remove the inner conversation I had – and remember I’ve learned worse
I learned that I created a business with the intentions of writing and I wasn’t writing!
I learned that my journey doesn’t start until I do – and I promised myself I start today
I will learn how to be the person that attracts the resources and builds the future that I need to be the Dreamer I dream about
My name is Dreen – I own Daee Dreamz and I am a writer.
I hope to see you join me in learning how to be amazing at your dreams
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